tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post3752263537637739316..comments2013-03-20T14:07:25.250-07:00Comments on Short Stories: BoulderEhtisham Hussainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01979290718241966259noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-60575023774841005722013-03-20T14:07:25.250-07:002013-03-20T14:07:25.250-07:00I didn't excuse myself from anything, so pleas...I didn't excuse myself from anything, so please go ahead and give some pointers. :)<br /><br />To me story telling is an outlet, and fiction is one of the best ways of saying things that are politically incorrect. A great story should always come from the heart, and in our society, every heart is full of frustration. If I see something I don't like I would try to change it, and if I can't change it, I would write a story about it. Just my opinion.Ehtisham Hussainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01979290718241966259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-6466874858718650742013-03-20T13:14:11.089-07:002013-03-20T13:14:11.089-07:00Interesting premise, Ehtisham, though not as much ...Interesting premise, Ehtisham, though not as much as the 'Good and Evil' duo's was (my apologies if that sounds like an invalid comparison).<br /><br />You've already excused yourself from the liabilities of storytelling for this one (the rant excuse). So, I can't comment on the composition. Also, conboyhillfiction has already made a couple of good points in this regard.<br /><br />I will add my two cents, though. Storytelling is not just about letting out frustrations. In fact, it should be anything but.<br /><br />Hope to read more from you soon. Keep'em comin'!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-28249701221124033092013-03-20T10:27:07.406-07:002013-03-20T10:27:07.406-07:00Kashif bhai gets it. :)Kashif bhai gets it. :)Ehtisham Hussainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01979290718241966259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-46400690047096945742013-03-20T09:59:55.083-07:002013-03-20T09:59:55.083-07:00i think we should realize that by saying the relig...i think we should realize that by saying the religion is good but the people are bad again make a soft corner for religion and those who misuse religion can easily misuse it again.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03964986501877282942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-72051838367337662132013-03-20T06:43:07.838-07:002013-03-20T06:43:07.838-07:00So you had a different head on then when you wrote...So you had a different head on then when you wrote those two sore thumbs that are sticking out! Well, there you have it - making sure you're back in the shoes of your narrator and letting them lead your words and phrasing is an essential. Not always easy to live with though :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-45629887006995420982013-03-20T06:20:24.336-07:002013-03-20T06:20:24.336-07:00Thanks for the feedback. I added the 'hey, at ...Thanks for the feedback. I added the 'hey, at least...' part today, while most of the story was written a few weeks ago, so I might edit that out. And yes, it is meant to be allegorical. :)<br /><br />I usually have trouble writing stories without any dialogues, because that is when the narrator's true caliber is exposed. This story is more of an angry rant and an exercise to improve myself as a writer. Your feedback helps, as always. :)Ehtisham Hussainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01979290718241966259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-60809941578451958022013-03-20T05:54:56.440-07:002013-03-20T05:54:56.440-07:00This seems allegorical to me, and Fizza has it, I ...This seems allegorical to me, and Fizza has it, I think without quite seeing that. Rather than criticising the story (and I may have you wrong, Fizza, so I apologise), the criticism is exactly the blind adherence to a doctrine at the expense of rationality. We see that in so many places and so many injustices are perpetrated as a result. The only thing I would say in critiquing the story itself is that you deliver it with a certain elegance but that you demolish that with two expressions - 'way unimportant', and 'hey, at least ...' - each of which feels out of place and belonging to another narrator entirely. Otherwise, I think it's a very neat and nicely constructed little tale:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-7931403349270519092013-03-20T04:30:28.769-07:002013-03-20T04:30:28.769-07:00Great story Great story Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02636611621811268550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6331439284778559265.post-49088885792927288982013-03-20T04:14:03.837-07:002013-03-20T04:14:03.837-07:00I got stuck at lot of points and had to read it ag...I got stuck at lot of points and had to read it again and again to get the meaning. It's rough yet I can relate to this roughness and negativity. <br />But you know, it's not boulder that ruined the city, it was people. We call arguing for a country's negative deeds patriotism and performing an illogical religious custom piousness. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11134720563218755737noreply@blogger.com